A long time ago, in an Oklahoma far far away (from Utah) I was stationed at a small Naval Activity a long, long way from the nearest ocean.
One of my "shipmates" (called that, even on "shore duty" - sure as hell not gonna call anyone a "shore-mate"!!!) was an Oklahoma Native Son doing his "Twilight Tour" (last tour of duty before he retired).
He was a very nice guy, very generous. He did have a habit of exaggerated exaggeration. He would bring a basket of tomatoes grown on his Mother's farm "down the road a'piece" the smallest of which were the size of cantelouopes - the largest - the size of dwarf watermelons. These were brought in for the crew to share - take home, whatever.
When someone would say, "My god those are big tomatoes," he would say, "Ah them's the little'uns."
Well, that was okay. They were damn good tomatoes.
He had another habit, which, after some months, become somewhat irritating. Every time someone would mention something, he had done it. Say, "My Dad drove a dump truck..." this sailor (let's call him Jerry cause that wasn't his name) Jerry would say, "I used to drive a dump truck for the Santa Fe Railroad."
Mention a bartender, Jerry would say, "You know, Bartendin's one of the most fun jobs I ever had." It got to where people would plan conversations to mention some job or hobby or another, to see what story Jerry would tell about it.
In addition to being a Sailor for 20 years, Jerry had driven the above dump truck, been a bartender, soda jerk, policeman, detective, FBI agent, driven race cars on the track at Neuremburg, raced motorcycles for "Harley Davis," and invented Polaroid Cameras for Mr. Land. Among other things.
A common joke was that to have done everything he claimed to have done Jerry (who was in his late 30's at the time) would have to be about 125 years old.
What got me to thinking about Jerry was, I was looking over my resume the other day, and thinking about all the jobs that I have held which are NOT on my resume.
I got my first job when I was 12 - sweeping classrooms after school at Washington Avenue Elementary School in Roswell, New Mexico, circa 1955.
I've lived a long time since then, and have worked a lot of places.
I had a whole slug of jobs before I went into the Navy and, during my 21 years in the Nav, I had a slew of part time (and some not-so-part-time) jobs - which, amazingly, included cop, detective and bartender, among several others.
So, I guess, when I talk about having been a DJ, or driving a fork lift, counting money on Sunday nights for Feed the Children, or tying down cargo aboard airplanes, people may very well say the same thing about me that we used to say about Jerry - - - only in my case, they probably say I must be at least 175 years old.
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